26th January 2009
So I just read this amazing post by one of my favorite bloggers ever (her personal blog is Rocks in my Dryer). She just gets it… this joyful, exhausting, overwhelming, huge responsibility of being a Mom. She gets it, and she knows how to communicate it.
I’m not sure I was fully aware, back then, how incredibly taxing those days were. I operated much of the time in survival mode, buzzing between a pediatrician visit to a botched bedtime to a temper tantrum to an explosive diaper (or three). And I loved it – make no mistake. For all the exhaustion, there were many times that were so precious they did (and still do) take my breath away. But the intensity of the demands had me bouncing back and forth constantly between joy and discouragement, wonder and fear. I remember feeling guilty, sometimes, knowing there would never be a sweeter season in my life, so why was it that I sometimes just wanted everyone to go to sleep already? (Quoted from Parenting.com)
I read this just this evening, and it moved me to tears. Seriously… this is where I’m at most days. And she continues at the end of her post (which you really must read!), to say that after all is said and done we will think, “this is very good”. And today of all days, I had a glimpse of that.
We were busy all day, out and about doing things, enjoying each other, having fun. Analise was in rare good form today… very sweet, obedient, not whiney or teary, full of grace… the girl I know she can be. Josiah was bouncy and playful, sweet and charming. And I enjoyed my kids today. It was balm to my sometimes beat-up Mommy ego that is constantly fighting with tantrums, colds, diapers, cracker crumbs, rundown trains and tears. I know this calling as a Mom is awesome and holy and full of great rewards (another fantastic post), but today was a much needed glimpse of those rewards. And at the end of the day, this post (quoted above) wrapped it up for me.